Sun Dancer’s Way

Remembrance is long, for those of my kind. We of the Clan of Cat do not forget those with whom we have shared a life. Lifetimes may come and pass away, yet there is never forgetfulness for those we have loved. Once earned, our love is yours until the world itself shall end and turn no more beneath the sun. And even then, we will carry it with us beyond the Veil, to that bright morning when all things are made new, and all cherished companionships restored.

It is our way. For us there can be no other. We are as the Spirit Above has made us to be, upon the earth and under the sun.

I am called Sun Dancer by those of my own kind. I am of the Folk, and of the Clan of Cat. My home is a small white house by the sea, in the land called “Island,” where the great light burns atop the tall stone tower.

I am friend and companion to Martha, child of Judith, who was the child of Joy. She is mine and I am hers, in this, my fourth Life-Walk upon the good green earth that turns beneath the sun.

A happy little girl of five summers, my Martha is beautiful in the eyes of all who look upon her. Her hair falls in bright chestnut curls upon her small shoulders, and her laughing eyes are the blue of the endless sea, just where it meets the sky. There is no darkness within her.

Like all small children, Martha can see my world as clearly as she does her own. Where the adults in her life see nothing, she perceives wonders beyond their imagining. Where they notice only drops of dew upon the ferns, Martha finds bright glowing gems in all the hues of the rainbow, and her days are filled with magic.

The Faeries and Elves are her friends, and they speak to her every day. The Little Folk call her one of their own, and show her their hidden treasure. The Nymphs laugh and the Dryads of the wood smile, to see us play her little girl games beneath their leafy boughs where hummingbirds flit like living jewels, and every butterfly is a priceless treasure. I show her all the beauty of my world, and keep her from straying too near the Daemons and the Djinn.

It is good to live beside Martha, in the small white house beneath the stone tower of the light, by the endless blue sea, in the sight of the Spirit Above who made us both. I love my Martha with all of my being: blood and bone, fur, and tail. All that I am belongs to her. I stand between her and whatever darkness may come, and anyone who wishes her ill must first pass me.

Nothing but death will ever take me from this child’s side, for that is the way of my Clan and my kind. That is Sun Dancer’s way.

I walk with her through the days and the summers of life that have been given to me, and I ask for nothing more. I live in joy, for once again, I have come home. The path that was long ago ordained for those like me has brought me back here, back to the place that is mine. Life is good, for the Spirit Above is kind.

This is not the first life I have lived in the house by the sea, beneath the tower of the light. By the great kindness of the Spirit Above, I have travelled this path before, and will do so again.

I came here from the Sacred Isle of Avalon, where I rested after my third Life-Walk in the world that turns beneath the sun. It is where we of the Clan of Cat come between the many lives we live. There we rest and await the next of the paths we shall walk upon the earth.

None but the eyes of Cat may find our beautiful Sacred Isle, land of endless spring. Its sunlit meadows, cool wooded hills, and sparkling streams are hidden from all others, and warded safe from all harm. There, every breeze is gentle, every day is warm and sunny, and the water of every brook is sweet upon the tongue.

The Sacred Isle is the wellspring of life for my Clan and my kind. It is the especial gift that was given us in the morning of all things by the hand of the Spirit Above. There we are made whole again, when we are injured along the paths we travel upon the earth. It is where we of the nine Life Walks begin, and also where we end. It is where our circle is made complete.

My heart was bright within me as I lay there in the sun, for in my third life, just ended, I had lived and been as a Cat was created to live and to be. I felt whole, fulfilled, and at one with the universe.

To my companion in the days of that third Walk, my name had been “Rufus,” and I loved her with all my heart, as she had loved me. For sixteen summers I had lived beside this human in the house beneath the stone tower. Then at last, age and the limits of my mortal body overtook me, and I made my Journey.

I was weary to the depths of me as I rested in Avalon, but not wounded in spirit, for my human companion had treated me with nothing but gentleness and love.

Her name was Judith, and I could still see her smiling face. I still smelled the sweet flower scent she wore, to please the young human toms. Our memories were warm breezes that ruffled my whiskers, glowing treasures that I carefully arranged in my mind. We had played together many days, beneath the tall stone tower where Franklin, father of my Judith, kindled the great light each night.

Franklin was a human being of great honor among his kind, counted trustworthy to keep the great light. All those who rode upon the white-winged sea carts, far out from the land, saw his light as they traveled the deep blue waters. In this way, they knew to turn away from the deadly rocks that would have broken them, and so found their safe way to the land. Many days some of them had been upon the sea, spreading their white wings to the wind, but none of them could come home without the light atop the tower, or the man who tended it.

Sometimes the Captains of the sea-carts brought candy or small gifts from places far away for my Judith. They knew whose father it was who faithfully kindled the great light that kept them safe. They knew the debt they owed, and all of them took joy in bringing the finest gifts they could.

Even in those days the warm little house beneath the tower was already old in my memory. In a yet earlier lifetime, in a memory older still, I had lived in that selfsame house with Judith’s mother, whose name was Joy. Her love too, was with me still, a bright kernel of light that I kept safe in my heart. Her name for me had been “Scamp,” and it I treasure as well.

All these memories, and lives, and fond old companionships I pondered in my heart as I lay upon the sweet green grass by Avalon’s singing brook. Silvery Sprites brought me its water in tiny crystal bowls, whenever I felt the need to drink. The Little Folk came to make me laugh, with their capering and pranks, and Dryads of the woodland softly sang to me of things green and growing, as the sun fell warm upon my fur.

When I knew hunger, the ancient Gnomes, who live among the ferns, brought me savory bits of things good to eat. Their wrinkled old faces smiled, as they spoke to me of the wisdom they had gathered in their age-long lives. My days of rest were full of peace in Avalon. I was as contented and happy as it is ever given a mortal creature to be.

And every day the Fey came to enquire after my wellbeing. They are the bright fluttering, joyful folk, who tend all the needs of those in Avalon. Like glowing stars with iridescent wings, or living rainbows somehow gifted with voice, they care for all who come to rest on the Sacred Isle. They rejoice in their task, and to be near them is to partake of their joy.

Slowly, day by day, life seeped back into my bones, from the sun, from the air and the trees, and from the earth itself. Morning by bright morning, I grew young and strong again. I grew ready to live once more, in the world that turns beneath the sun.

We of the Clan of Cat do not experience our lives in the same way you do. The Spirit Above created you of the Clan of Man to live but once, in a single Walk of many summers, upon the earth and under the sun. Then all humankind must part the Veil and journey onward, to the Final Home that has been prepared for your kind.

But we cats were given nine paths to walk upon the good green earth, nine lives to live, beneath the sun. When each has ended, we rest in Avalon, and it may be that only a few days will pass by in the world of men, or yet long ages might come and go before we return to live again.

And neither are our lives as beads upon a string, but rather sown like bright seeds in the endless fields of time. Where and when we alight and live once more is known in Avalon, but is not given us to decide.

We live our lives as they are given to us, and walk the paths that lie at our feet, for it is good to be of the Clan of Cat. We do not question the place that is ordained for us, but live each day, each summer, and each lifetime as a precious gift. None of us would choose to be other than as we were created.

And when each Walk is finished, we abide for a season on our Sacred Isle, cared for by the Fey, guarded and kept safe there by the watchful Shades in Avalon’s deep shadowed Vale.

They are older than the trees, these Shades of Avalon’s Vale, and they are wise. Once they were great-hearts and kings, paladins of long ago, who drew sword in the cause of the small and the weak. They were all men and women of renown and honor, who defended the good as seemed right to them, no matter what the cost.

When at last they parted the Veil, their passing was so great that they left shadows of themselves in the sunlit world, that they might protect and shield it still. Now they linger in a beautiful dale, at the center of the isle of Avalon. No longer of this world, and yet not fully of the next, they live in breeze, and shadow, and falling leaf, and still, they guard and defend.

The Shades are the living heart of our Sacred Isle, and it is said that once upon an age, they may deign to hear a petition, and maybe grant a boon. It was upon this hope that I rested all the dearest dreams of all my lives, that they might hear me, and grant what I must ask.

Soon I must come into their presence, I knew. When I was fully renewed, and ready to live once more, the Shades would call for me by name, and I would go before them. I would sing the Song of my third Life-Walk, in the world that turns beneath the sun. Not to be judged, but to be kept in remembrance forever.

Every life that is lived beneath the sun is given a song in Avalon. Whether great or small, all the Life-Songs are heard here, and the Shades hold them in ageless memory, safe for all time. Everything that has been lived and spoken and done upon the good green earth is kept and cherished. Nothing of life is allowed to be lost.

As they listened, I would sing of all the days and summers I had lived, from beginning to end. Every moment would be remembered in the Vale of the Shades, in Sacred Avalon.

Yet upon the day of my third Life-Song, when its final verses were done, I would not make an end. This time, there would be more that I must say in the presence of the Shades. To these guardians of Avalon, I would make a plea, and ask the deepest desire of my heart. It I would lay before them and await their will.

For as I left finally my Judith’s arms to make the Journey that lies at the end of every life, she had reminded me of a solemn oath I’d sworn. That promise to her I would keep, even if all the world stood against me.

We of the Clan of Cat do not fail of our oaths. That is our way; that is Sun Dancer’s way. It is the light at the very center of how we were made to be, in the morning of all things.

It had come about long ago, and in this way: once, upon an awful day of grief and sorrow, my Judith had departed from me. For four endless summers, she had left the land of Island behind her for the wider world, while I waited for her in the house by the sea. I knew she did not wish it, but there were things she must do, things I did not understand.

The white-winged sea carts had taken her far away, beyond the sea, there to continue her schooling in a place I did not know. I was left without her, alone and desolate, in a home now empty and cold. Those days were dark for her father Franklin and me, and we thought they would never come to their end. I grew frail and old while we waited. It was hard to find hope then, but I never gave up.

And then, one bright and joyous morning, she returned at last from the wider world. Back to me she came at last, and to her father Franklin. The white-winged sea carts finally brought my Judith home, but she had not come alone. Beside her stood a young human tom I had never met, someone she called “Husband,” and “Bertram.” And in her arms was a little bundle that she knelt to show me.

I saw a tiny face, with bright chestnut curls above eyes as blue as the sea. I reached out then, with the power of knowing that was given to my Clan and my kind, and I saw her heart. And I found to my wonder that I already knew this fresh, new, beautiful little being.

I looked into her eyes, and there, gazing back at me, glowed the living spirit of her mother Judith, and that of Judith’s mother Joy. They were both there, wrought in tiny, exquisite miniature, and mingled with the new spirit that was the little one’s own.

“Her name is Martha,” my Judith softly said to me.

“And Rufus, heart of my heart, there is a thing you must promise, a thing you must do for me,” she said. “I want little Martha to know certain things about the world we live in, Rufus. You know the things I mean.”

Her father Franklin, and young “Husband” too, looked confused at her words, but I most definitely was not. I understood my beloved friend completely.

Yes, I knew what my Judith meant on that day of joyous homecoming. She was saying to me that she wanted her child to know my love and my companionship, and yet there was more.

She wanted Martha to know the world where I walked every day, the world that among all mortal beings, only cats and little children may see. It is a hidden realm, only a shadow at the edges of adult sight, but bright and real to my kind, and the very young.

There, Judith and I had played happily all the days of her childhood, and I believe she still glimpses it from time to time. She was asking that the same blessing be granted to her own child.

I gave Judith my promise freely and with all my heart that day. Then, to her and the little one, I added my most sacred vow: I Sun Dancer swore, that while my breath remained within me, I’d walk with Martha, child of Judith, child of Joy, and stand between her and whatever darkness might come. Wherever the sun might shine upon her face, there would it also find me, for there beside her would I be.

My life I joined to hers, for that is my way, the ancient way of my kind, upon the earth and under the sun. For us there can be no other.

Two more glorious summers I lived with Martha and her mother Judith, and her father too, watching my little friend grow in the house by the sea, beneath the stone tower of the great light.

Then, in the spring of my sixteenth summer, I was required to make my Journey. I was a frail, ragged old cat, who had walked his full Path beneath the sun. My heart was full of the love that had been given me along the way, but my mortal body was just too weary to carry on.

It had not been long enough to fulfill what I’d sworn; two summers were not nearly enough. And so I’d promised to return to Judith, and to the new little one, just as my Judith had returned to me.

“Only give me a season on the Sacred Isle,” I’d said in my heart, and willed her to understand, “A little while to rest and renew my tired body, and I will be back. Oh yes, I will return, for the Clan of Cat must walk nine times, upon the earth and under the sun.”

That promise, the sacred oath I’d sworn in my heart, I must lay before the Shades of Avalon, and beg their leave to fulfill it, no matter the cost. They must be made to know of the love I carried, love that no ending life could ever break, or even dim.

I had twice already lived in the little house by the endless sea. Twice before had I lived and walked with human companions there, both Judith and Joy. I had loved them both with all of my being, after the ancient manner of my kind.

And now there was Martha, fresh new little spirit, whom I loved already, for that too, is the ancient way of my kind. That too, is Sun Dancer’s way.

Could it possibly be allowed? Could I return yet again? Might it be permitted, in the world that turns beneath the sun, that I could carry all my love for them back once more, to the little house by the sea, beneath the tower of the light?

That was the hope I cherished, as I lay upon the grass of Avalon. That was all the desire of my heart, and if it be not granted, then I would lay down all of my remaining lives, rather than go on alone. This I resolved, upon the bright morning when the Fey of our Sacred Isle finally came to bring me to the Vale of the Shades.

Four of them there were, upon that fresh new morning. Glowing and shimmering, they happily flew about me, and the brightest, most beautiful of them all came near to my face, and bespoke me in a high, tinkling voice, as she hovered there.

“Greetings, most excellent Sun Dancer of the Clan of Cat! It is good to see thee so strong and well again!” she said to me.

“And greetings to you as well, bright Fey of Avalon,” I answered her in my turn.

“A wonderful day has dawned, thou true and brave son of thy kind!” she said, effervescent with joy. “Thou art summoned to the Vale! Hast thou prepared thy Song, the tale of the Life Path thou hast lately trodden upon the earth?”

“I have prepared it,” I answered, as all of them glimmered even more brightly. “And I am ready. I will sing this day in the Sacred Vale.”

“Then come, brave friend, as quickly as may be, and there shalt thou come!”

Beckoning me to follow, the four flitted away, while I trotted below, across the green sward. Over the chuckling stream, by a pathway of moss-grown stones I walked, and under the eaves of a fragrant wood, toward the center of Avalon, while the glimmering, laughing Fey led me on.

And thus, at last I came to the most sacred place in all the Sacred Isle, the quiet glen where all the memories of all the world beneath the sun are kept by the ageless Shades.

Not even the eyes of Cat may truly see them. Rather they are felt, as a wafting breath of something other than the gentle wind which stirs the leaves, and whispers in the trees. I knew that they were aware of me, as I entered their dwelling place. They are always wakeful and aware.

“Wherefore come thee, small wanderer, son of the Clan of Cat?” whispered one of them, near to my ear. “What is thy purpose, that thou art come here on this day?”

Gathering myself, I addressed the entity who had spoken, “I have come to sing, Ancient One. I have lived a life, and walked its path, upon the earth and under the sun. I would sing it now, in Avalon.”

I lifted my chin, held my tail proudly aloft, and spoke again: “I claim the old privilege, that was given my Clan and my kind in the morning of the world!”

“Then sing,” breathed the old one against my ear. “Sing in Avalon, of all thou hast seen beneath the sun!”

And so, I took another breath and began my song with the notes that told of the very first days of the life I had lived. I sang of my days and summers in the little house beneath the tall stone tower, where the great light shone out to the white-winged sea carts upon the wide water. I sang of the lifetime I had lived there, in the house by the sea.

It was to that house that kindly Franklin, keeper of the light, had brought the tiny kitten who was me, down the worn path from the village, and laid me in a basket bed. Close by the fire it was, with a soft scrap of blanket to lie upon, and the sun fell warm upon it from the window above.

Though Franklin never saw them, a delegation of Little Folk came to bid me welcome, and stayed to watch over me. Franklin himself watched through the window, and oh how he smiled when someone new came to find me there!

It was Judith, child of my beloved companion, little daughter of Joy, who had been taken from me far too soon in the days of my second Life-Walk. It was Judith who rushed to take me up in her arms that day, for the Spirit Above is kind; the Spirit Above knows every heart, and is the author of all love.

I felt as if the sun had risen and smiled upon me, as she laughed to see me there, an orange kitten in a basket bed. A girl child of six summers, whose blue eyes sparkled like the stars, she held me in her arms and laughed, and told me that we’d never, ever part.

This and more I sang, there in the Vale, where the Shades of Avalon dwell among the gently rustling leaves. I sang all of the stories we had lived together. I let my voice rise higher as I told of our happiness, and of the glorious games we played, while the Little Folk and the Sprites of the sea watched and smiled, and the Elves saw her heart and called her good.

I sang of the days she spent at the place of learning, the small stone house with its red-painted door, where the Clan of Man teaches its young the ways and customs of their kind. I waited for Judith through those chilly winter days, in a small room where the cloaks and hats were hung, content to hear her voice from time to time and know that she was still there. And when each day was done, we’d take the path together to the house by the sea that was our home.

I told of the glorious summer walks we took, Judith and I, from one end of the land of Island to the other, and how we chased the butterflies and listened to the birds.

Many a warm afternoon we spent lying in the green meadow, watching the fluffy white clouds in all their fantastic shapes. I sang of how unutterably good it was, to be alive with Judith in those bright days, upon the earth and under the sun.

My song told also of the terrible day when she’d left me behind, left the land of Island, to go to the wider world beyond the sea. But then it told in its turn of the bright golden morning when she’d come home again, and brought me little Martha, child of Judith, child of Joy. There were even more joyful days after that, and I sang them all, of all my loved ones, together in the house beneath the tower, where the great light shone out over the sea.

And just as gentle evening was beginning to fall upon the Sacred Isle of Avalon, I sang of the final day of my third Life-Walk, upon the earth that turns beneath the sun. I sang of the love in my Judith’s eyes, the last thing I saw as I began my Journey.

The first bright stars were shining when I let the final notes of my song fall away, and the little night Pixies were joining all the others, as silence returned.

The wise old Gnomes and solemn Elves turned to one another and nodded, and the Little Folk smiled among themselves. It had been a good song, and it told of a good life; there was nothing in it of which to be ashamed. I was well satisfied to leave it in the care of the ancient ones of Avalon’s Vale.

But just as the fireflies began to wink, I raised my head to address them again. I gathered myself to speak once more, for there was still my plea to make, as I had resolved to do. The bright glimmering Fey drew back in astonishment, and the Dryads all turned their faces toward me.

But before I could begin, the gathered Shades murmured among themselves, and the leaves of the Vale suddenly stirred as if to a soft evening breeze. “There is more in thy heart, brave Sun Dancer, son of the Clan of Cat,” one of their number softly spoke. “It shines there for all to see. Hast thou more to sing in our midst? Wouldst add to thy song?”

“I would, Ancient One,” I said, and took all my courage in hand. “I know that I am unworthy, but I must beg…”

“Unworthy?” whispered all of the assembled Shades at once, and the trees all trembled as I fell silent again, startled.

“Who here speaks of unworthiness?” murmured the one who had greeted me, hours ago. “Is it Sun Dancer, he whose love for his companions has lately brought great honor to his Clan and his kind? Will he make naught of the acts of which he has sung this day? This was the Life-Walk of a great-heart, and its worthiness shall be judged here, by those gathered in this Vale.”

I backed away from the whispering, echoing voices. I was taken aback, and unsure of how I should respond. This was not at all the reaction I had anticipated. Never before had the ancient Shades spoken thus.

“Sun Dancer,” whispered all the gathered voices together, all about me in every shadow and wafting breeze. “Sun Dancer, heir to the honor of thy Clan and thy kind, thou art this day as thou wast meant to be, since thy kind first woke in the morning of the world. Speak not of unworthiness here. There is no darkness found in thee, neither guile nor stain of hate.

“Stand forth, Sun Dancer, of the folk and of the Clan of Cat. Stand forth and receive that which thine acts beneath the sun have earned thee,” and here they paused for an endless moment of time.

“Go home Sun Dancer,” said all of the murmuring, echoing voices. “For this is our decree: that thou shalt forever more dwell in the house by the sea, beneath the tower of the great light, until all thy Life-Walks are done, and all thy paths are walked. Get thee home, to the place that is thine, in the world that turns beneath the sun.” And the whispering, gentle voices faded away once more.

A hush fell on the Vale of Avalon then, as the glowing, happy spirits of the Fey gathered, hovering around me in the warm, scented night breeze. Their joyful laughter filled the silence once more and the glorious shimmering of their wings drove all the shadows away.

The brightest, most joyful of them all came near to me, and said in her sweet, tinkling soprano, “It is done, Sun Dancer. Go to thy reward, brave son of thy Clan and thy kind. Go and do as thou hast been bidden.” All of them sparkled in agreement, and she spoke again, “And now, sleep… sleep.”

Velvety darkness took me, soft and silent, and carried me away. My last thought was that I had not even been allowed to ask...

There was a time of warmth and dimness, a time of slow wakening as my spirit returned to me, not all at once, but building toward awareness once more, as I began to know myself again.

There was a time of new brightness and sensation, a time when the love and warmth of my mother were my universe, as I and my siblings entered the world that turns beneath the sun.

There was a time of growing, warm and guarded in a place of safety, cuddled, and admired, taught once again by my mother the old, old ways of our kind.

And there came a time when small hands took me up, and I heard the high sweet voice of a child: “This one, Mommy! I want this one!”

Another voice came then, a beloved, never to be forgotten voice, a voice that filled me with joy, and this voice replied, “Are you sure, Martha? You can’t trade him back after we’ve taken him home.”

“This one, Mommy!” said the little girl again. “This is the kitty I dreamed! I want to take him home now.” And her mother’s voice, full of love, answered softly, “All right then, sweetheart. We’ll all go home now.” My eyes met hers then, in a moment of blessed recognition, as my Judith smiled down at me.

And we did verily go home, to the place that was forevermore mine, in the small house by the endless sea, beneath the tower of the great light.

END